Relationships in Colombia are hostile to the well educated, intelligent women (and dare I say men too?) of more developed nations. Nothing new to an educated, intelligent Colombian woman either – although they seem to bear it better. You might want to prepare yourself for this by banging your head against the wall – followed by a fortifying shot of aguardiente.
Relationships in Colombia
You’re traveling or living abroad. One day, someone will cross your path who sees you, the real you and you will fall madly in love with them. Or was it just the alcohol talking?
Despite language and culture barriers, you go for it! Because life is an adventure. And life abroad can be lonely. You don’t consider whether you will understand their sense of humor, and they yours. Right now all you see is the intensity of this moment. The passion. The feeling. The sense of finding someone special.
And maybe, just maybe – you will find your Media Naranja, or that perfect relationship situation. (Hat-tip, to the reader who corrected my understanding on this one)
Here are a few things to consider when considering a partner.
- Religious beliefs and approach to the meaning of life.
- Attitudes and culture norms which affect hygiene and personal care.
- The food they desire/eat. The food they don’t desire and refuse to eat.
- Sense of humor, and understanding how to interpret an expression or gesture.
- The in-laws. Google the term “Hijo Bom Brillo.” And then run away from this type.
- The language barrier, or being unable to express feelings coherently in the second language.
This is a pretty small list of the little things, but you will notice that many of them are even present in your home culture too. And, more often than not, they drive us crazy! That’s my list. Let’s see what others have to say…
The International Community Weighs in on the Debate
Cultural norms, family issues and more. I spoke to other foreign residents of Colombia, and here’s what they had to say about the joys and challenges of their cross-cultural relationships…
Perspective #1: Mollee’s Experience
Likes: Latin men are way more expressive and passionate. They generally treat their women like a queen…which is nice if you are someone (maybe a middle child) who loves attention
Also I think communication is a big deal in every relationship, and being in one with a second language really forces me
to plan what I say before I say it, which is not always the case when I am speaking English.
Dislikes: Long distance is hard, green cards are expensive, and everything takes time. Sometimes I think about how
easy people have it who are from the same country!
Its also difficult when I’m with his friends and almost all jokes are lost on me.
Mollee, Age 26, USA
jorn ludvigsen
June 5, 2017 at 8:22 amOne thing which we need to touch upon as “expats” or foreigners in any culture. Look at relationships around you and observe if the “foreigner” in place is alienating him- or herself. It is very normal that people in a new or other country try to persuade themselves that life is a walse on roses in the new place. If they persist that everything is soooo much better here or consistently try to convince everybody that life in their home country is soooo much worse they may have a huge problem. Denying your roots does not bring you anywhere close to better adaptation in your new environemt. Be proud of where you come from – do not deny your roots of upbringing – respect that you are who you are and NOT what you are. Embrace the new culture you are in on better and worse experiences. It will not change just because you pouch about it. YES there are huge differences between your life experiences before and your reality now, but learn the new reality before you start complaining about it. Show the way you want to go and accept that it takes enormous amounts of time to make people from this culture actually understand your aims and methods.
Allow yourself to be frustrated about how things do not work or sometimes how they actually work. But do not let the frustration turn into anger or impatience – NEITHER will help you survive and endure your stay here.
openmindedtraveler
June 5, 2017 at 9:30 amGreat advice! Thanks!
Karen Gill
May 27, 2018 at 2:47 pmThis has been so helpful! Wow. I am An American Female and I’m dating a Male Colombian. Here in Cartagena Colombia. I have been in this incredible relationship. It’s happened very fast. The 3 days vs 3 years is SO true!
But we are hitting some major walls. The over affection is getting to me. This is so beautiful. It’s a problem, but once overcome, will be amazing. We will be able to love eachother the best way💛
1. He has been served by women his whole life. And I’m not about to be a house wife, haha. I’m a career woman. That’s hard.
2. Language barrier. Although I am trying to learn Spanish. I can’t really communicate with his family. Although I LOVE his family. It helps that we are both Mormons (Latter Day Saints) so we have the same values and goals. But it’s hard not being able to connect with them. But regardless, I love them and they love me💛
3. Having to have a translator is so hard.
4. I am super independent, but I cannot be here yet. I am a young American female in Cartagena and I’m not adjusted yet. And I can’t really go outside without accompaniment. So that super sucks.
5. I feel he is a bit controlling, by nature. We are both type A and natural Alphas. So we butt heads. I feel that I am trying my very very hardest to adjust and I feel he doesn’t listen to me.
We’re both stubborn.
Regardless I do love him. So.
Thank You for the stories.
I think I can relate to Angela’s experience the best! I feel almost, to a T. How she feels. (Because she is in the same Gender role and location. Female North American in Colombia dating a Male Colombian )
I think this relationship has the potential to be AMAZING. But it will take timeđź’›
I do love him, but I have been struggling lately.
Anyways.
This has really given me hope!!(: