Could a Colombian woman be the start of your romantic adventure in an exotic, faraway country—or the source of your worst heartbreak?

This might be one of the most controversial topics I’ve ever covered, so buckle up and get ready!

How I Gathered My Insights

As a straight woman interested in men, I can offer some unique perspectives, but for a well-rounded view, I’ve also gathered firsthand insights from foreign men and Colombian women themselves.

The Truth About Colombian Women

Before we dive in, please remember that this is an editorial opinion. Feel free to agree, disagree, or share your own experiences in the comments below!

Now, let’s look at a real-life case involving a Colombian woman—where the man met a tragic fate much sooner than he expected.

🔗 Read the full article in Spanish

The Case of Timothy

According to the article, Timothy was murdered for his necklace—at least, that’s the official narrative.

Here’s what General Diego Rosero, Commander of the Barranquilla Metropolitan Police, stated in La Semana:

“Ella nos informó que se habían conocido a través de redes sociales y que recientemente habían realizado la compra, por $690 millones de pesos, de una vivienda en una de las esquinas de la cuadra donde ocurrió el asesinato con la idea de montar ahí un restaurante.”

Translation: “She informed us that she had met him on social media and that he had recently purchased a house for $690,000,000 COP on a nearby corner, intending to open a restaurant.”

The rest of the article categorizes his death as a robbery, just like several similar cases. But is that the whole story?

What’s missing is that Timothy had already expressed concerns about his safety before his murder. He also had doubts about the business deal he was involved in.

Here’s a video that may provide a more accurate picture of what really happened… (link)

The irony of it all is that the video above is no longer online – but it used to be a video of the man who was murdered saying he felt unsafe and felt like he was in trouble. A week or two later after filming it he was dead.

Who got to keep the properties and money? Was it a set-up? Was it the woman? Or was it simply a case of talking too much online and attracting the wrong attention?

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The Bigger Question

In a country where someone can be killed for a gold chain, could a woman orchestrate a setup or “allow” a man to be targeted for his money and assets once they are married?

I’m not here to play judge or jury, but the comments on the article I shared (and the video above) raise some important red flags for foreign visitors and expats.

Colombia Is Hungry—Move Slowly

Like much of the world right now, Colombia is struggling economically. That means trust takes time—don’t rush into relationships or business deals.

After spending a year in a moderately remote town, I’ve observed how people operate. Here’s something I’ve noticed:

• Men often observe before making a move. Even the most random street characters know I’m an American womanbefore I even know who they are. That can be unsettling.
• Living in a small town has helped me avoid pitfalls simply by listening to what locals say about people.

Colombian Culture: Reading Between the Lines

Colombians are hesitant to speak badly about others, which I respect. But it also means you need to ask direct questions to get an honest opinion.

It’s not too different from small-town USA, but here, I see two common relationship patterns:

1️⃣ The “Vivos” (Opportunists)
Some rush into relationships out of loneliness or because they see an advantage—be it new contacts, a place to stay, or financial gain. These are the “vivos”, always looking for ways to exploit an opportunity.

🎵 Pro tip: Listen to the song “Soltero Feliz”—it literally says “No me clavas!” (“Don’t hook me!”).

2️⃣ The Business Deal Approach
For many, dating feels like a negotiation. A man may study a woman for a while, then approach her with his life goals and assets laid out. From there, the woman decides if she’s interested.

The Best Approach: Let Things Flow

Colombians often say: “Deja que las cosas se fluyan.” (Let things flow.)

Not everyone moves with ulterior motives. Some genuinely build friendships before making a romantic move.

From my experience, this is the best approach. As a woman in Colombia, I’ve encountered both extremes, but patienceis key to finding quality relationships.

High value Colombian women are more career focused, and not as easy to exploit sexually. Middle class women are more hungry and willing to use (aprovechar) any stepping stone that they encounter, true vivas.

Trust No One, Until You Know Them Awhile

The best dates with Colombian Women are usually introductions made by people who you know, and trust. Often the hardest thing to do when you are newly arrived in a fun place like Colombia, is to be patient and get to know your surroundings.

All good things come to those who wait. Hell comes to the impatient.

With the average daily wage being around 40,000 COP per day, or a little over $10 USD, Colombian minimum wage salaries typically do not pay for more than rent (many live at home/ with family), transport, and food.

Women here have a massive disadvantage, even more so once they have children, and sometimes even when it comes to starting a business, or getting ahead.

For many Colombian women, AND men, a foreigner has the funding they need. This creates a favorable outcome for anyone who can capture your attention.

Logically, you must get to know the family and life of the woman you want to date before you get too serious, or even move in.

I have seen so many intense problems begin with a man, or woman, who moved in together too fast and then had unfavorable outcomes. In Colombia, both in business and personal relationships, you truly must get to know the people you decide to associate with.

Don’t Date Colombian Women Who Look cheap – THEY ARE!

In Colombia, is a mechanism called “prepago,” or pre-paids. They are basically on-call prostitutes. Pimping is illegal in Colombia, but prostitution by independent decision, is not.

Like in most of our home countries, a woman who looks cheap, usually is. Try to pick one that dresses more like a career woman, and less like a woman of leisure.

Ultimately, you know who you are. Decide what you want, and find someone who matches that vision.

On the other hand, don’t judge too harshly because Colombian women love to dress colorful and sexy in this region – in a flirty, yet tasteful way.

Over time you will learn to distinguish between women who have tangible value, over the ones who are only trying to appear like they do.

Get ready for an epic adventure! Pre-order Passport to Passion on August 1st for just $9.99!  Dive into my wild telenovela-to-truth love story, learn how to master the secrets of Coffee Axis romance, and unlock friendship culture how-to guides for good living in Colombia!  Don’t miss out—grab it now at Gumroad (a secure payment portal for selling digital materials) for a secure checkout or support new dating content on https://coffeetraveler.gumroad.com/l/LoveDatingGoodLivingColombia  

Fidelity Is Not Always a Thing

Spend time observing the culture. Fidelity isn’t a thing that most Colombians worry about here. They don’t consider a side love as being wrong, or even unusual. All they ask for is discretion.

There is even a thing here that Your wife is “la esposa,” the one who mothers your children, keeps your house, and gets attention on Sundays. Your woman, is La Mujer, or La Moza, your mistress, and the one who gets all the gifts, loving and “fun.”

Another common thing is the barrio boyfriend who is totally ok with having her go out with another man. She might be supporting, or even living with her barrio boyfriend while having a relationship with someone which has superior economic, or social leverage.

Colombian Women ARE More Feminine

We are not going to debate this. Yes, Colombian women excel at having beautiful curves, exotic eyes, long black hair, bodacious chests, great fashion style and superior housekeeping skills.

Of course, exceptions do exist. But this is a very rigid culture in the heterosexual arena which values femininity above all, in most cases.

It isn’t a bad thing. I learned to be more feminine as a woman in Colombia and have had better quality men and dating experiences as a result!

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness, Unless They are Men With Money, Especially Dollars

Yes, Colombian women will reluctantly but firmly reject men who are chronically unkempt. If she is young and beautiful; and you are dressed like a slob, she might be after your money.

This is a culture – especially in the Antioquia/Coffee Axis regions, which values clean and smell-good humans. On average they use more daily products than we do, to ensure there are no smelly armpits, foot stink, excessive perspiration, or yellow teeth!

Get a button up shirt, can even be short sleeve, wear close-toed shoes, and consider wearing nice pants for the first few dates. She will feel better being seen with you in public, and you will benefit from higher quality women.

Especially if you have an average body, this will give you a step up over a guy who is younger, or poorly dressed, but totally ripped. Culturally, Colombian Women place high value on smelling good, being well-dressed, AND clean.

They Are Emotionally Strong, Ruthlessly Ambitious, and Risk Takers

This can of course, be a good thing. I have met many women in the Coffee Axis who were business owners, high level executives, and excelling at traditionally male-occupied roles.

These women have seen it all and and are not easy to conquer.

Middle to lower class women are hard working, ambitious, and may even be kinder, to foreign men.

Take your time on getting to know her, watch out for women who have multiple children with multiple men, or who are sleeping with multiple partners – which is actually quite common, and even permitted culturally.

It takes a lot to crack the strength of these women. You really have to respect the emotional power these women display in the fact of a culture where abuse is common.

Investigate The Family a Bit

In a country where virtually every family has “bad apples,” it is extremely important to know where this girl comes from.

Be extremely cautious with women who come from certain pueblos which are either conflict zones, or heavily involved with illicit activities.

Which is again, why taking your time and not getting in too deep, is important for the first year or two.

Assassinations and accidents are very cheap and affordable for the middle and upper classes to someone who is committed enough to their cause. Obviously, this is much more expensive in developed countries where the police are less corruptible, or incentivized to fill higher prison quotas.

Do Not Invite Them To Your Home Until You Have TRUST

There are people who you will feel are your kind of energy and eventually you will invite them home. This is perfectly normal. But, in Colombia, within their own culture, this is usually a big step.

Petty theft is common, even within families. So much so, that homes are kept extremely private. More exceptions will be found in the pueblos. The poorer they are, the more likely they will be to invite you into their homes. And, some are very down to earth. But caution is important.

Don’t be afraid to meet at coffee shops, events, theaters, bars, or coffee shops.

Motels are for sex, hotels are for staying the night. Don’t make the costly mistake of falling asleep afterwards if you are at Motel.

Most people live with their families, Motels are common and acceptable in the beginning of a relationship for sexually active couples. It will save you a ton of headaches if you haven’t met her family, met her at a bar, met her casually, or you have any doubts.

Watch Out For Manipulation

Not sure what kind of crap is going to rain on me for this statement, but witches DO exist, and there is a large industry built on love potions, spells, enchantments and the such in Colombia.

Certain pueblos are known for their witchery – which is usually of the female sort. This has grown in Colombia, and this VICE Report tells us how that cartels are fully invested in black magic in order to achieve nefarious ends. Whether you believe it is real is irrelevant with a culture that is naturally superstitious, and wary of the strange or unexplained.

Don’t leave personal articles, or hair behind, if it is a one-night stand, or you can’t imagine walking down the aisle with her, they can be used against you.

Most are quite normal, but you must understand that Colombian Woman come in many different shades of grey.

Conclusion

This isn’t meant to be dating advice. It is simply an observation about women in a culture that has fought to survive despite long odds. Their instincts come from rampant poverty, corruption, and less quality of education.

Ask yourself this question: What risks have you taken to get ahead in life?

And another question: If you had nothing to lose, what risks would you take to get ahead?

Enjoy the ride, make lifelong friends…but proceed into the dating realm with caution – especially if you want something that is deeper and long-lasting. Not all that shines is gold, especially when dating Colombian Women.

If you feel like these tips resound with you and you want to have an online consulting session – feel free to email me at openmindedtravel@gmail.com. Cost is $25/hour to sit and discuss perspectives, ideas and culture norms related to dating in Colombia.

And, if you are woman looking for your prince charming…relax sister, it isn’t as easy as you might think! Read more here:

The Truth About Colombian Men