Here’s the slightly unhinged guide to 5 Colombian Dating Red Flags that you need to know about BEFORE you plan your trip – especially if you are coming here to meet someone!

We all want to be loved. Most of us want to be loved by one person for a long time.

5 Colombian Dating Red Flags

Reality Check: Many of us may never find love – but we might find Self Love instead!

If you’re a hopeless romantic (like I still kind of secretly am), then you aren’t quite ready to give up even as you refrain from taking too much interest in anyone new. Instead, we all need to take some time to educate ourselves more about what to watch out for – and how.

Here are 5 Colombian Dating Red Flags that are being talked about in Reddit forums and expat groups in Colombia and Latin America to some extent.

1. Rapid Escalation of Interest or Love-Bombing (Especially if You’re a “Gringo”)

Not only does this scream “INTEREST” – it reeks of behind the scene plotting and hidden agendas. Many relationships in Latin America begin intensely, and die out just as fast. There is a cultural approval of being passionately “in love” today and moving on to the next one tomorrow or a few months from now.

Obviously in a society where you can swipe right, it isn’t exclusive to Latin America – but they put their own unique touch on it. They speak to foreign visitors and residents with a melodious, honeyed (meloso) tone that is almost hypnotic to us. Especially if growing up we rarely heard “I love you” much less “my love” from our own parents – it touches us deeper than their actual intent.

Be wary of love bombing and sudden or intense interest. If you aren’t going to buy a car that you have never had checked out by a licensed mechanic, why would you do the same on a much more intimate level that involves intimacy and feelings?

2. Requests for Money or Financial Help (Direct or Indirect)

It begins in a subtle way. She tells you passionately about her dream to start a business or her family member who is sick or suffering in the hospital. Then the situation gets complicated – a “robbery” or sudden thing that happens where that first contribution just didn’t quite go far enough.

Don’t confuse this with someone who is offering something of value that adds to your life. In a healthy setting, that person would not come from a place of scarcity, but from a mentality of abundance and giving you more than you give them. Not in a monetary sense, but more in a value for value concept. Example: Woman has needs, but can trade an item for what they need – a skill, a product or a tangible item. Relationships are a business, remember that.

Someone who is broke, having problems or in deep debt probably has deep emotional or even spiritual problems that have brought them to the edge and should probably work on themselves first.

Why would you buy a car with serious problems? You want a car which is baseline in good working order, up to date on maintenance and ready to roll out of the garage. The price doesn’t matter – the basic care and maintenance does.

3. Drugging Risks (Scopolamine/Burundanga) or Robbery Setups via Dates

Men are the most susceptible to this one. Women plan their time and their location. Men want to go out and have fun, see what happens, meet someone new and let life just happen. Not all. But many.

If you don’t believe me about men being the main targets, check out this video by Medellin Unfiltered:

Be sure to comment if you found Steve’s advice helpful from one man to another.

Women, let’s focus on some of the other issues.

As a woman who travels to Medellin and Bogota at least once a year each – I always have a careful plan – or at the very least a loose idea of where I want to go and when. If you watch the video above, his idea about robbing/drugging supports women as planners who go “a la fija” or in a guaranteed way.

Side Note: as tango dancer who has dedicated a lot of time and money to learning and social experience, I find it is more entertaining and safe to hire a professional dancer to come out with me so I can get dances and/or introductions to locals. It’s worth the $30-40 USD that it might cost me per night and I don’t have to stay out past midnight or go back to my hotel disappointed. This is a common practice in the tango world – in the salsa world you usually go to a few classes and then see what they recommend or go out with a friend and see what happens.

Email me if you want to do something similar but are unsure where to go or who to talk to. Reach me at OpenMindedTravel@gmail.com I can help you plan your itinerary or connect with dancers and set it up yourself.

4. Dating Multiple People Openly / Lack of Exclusivity (Until “Official”)

I find dating multiple people exhausting, but it is a common thing here for both men and women. Don’t expect to be exclusive unless you are pretty much living together or married. Even then it can become optional to your Colombian partner if they travel or someone catches their eye – especially if they have the economic capacity.

It is culturally accepted here to let one person “own” your heart but have side affairs to satisfy your body or interest. This is especially true during travel or during the week. Sunday is sacred to a married or committed Colombian and that will be your first red flag = when they aren’t available after 7 PM or on weekends.

Especially in the early stages, you can pretty much assume that there are other men or women out there that they are talking to or cultivating as a future partner until otherwise proven.

The red flags for this are sudden cancelation of plans, weekend unavailability, unavailable on the 24th of December (this specific date is important) and “radio silence.”

The car is no good if you can’t take it for a cruise on a Sunday afternoon, or go see a movie on Saturday night – that time when most people are available or at rest.

5. Inconsistent Behavior, Lies, or Hidden Motives (e.g., Age Gaps, Exes, or Profiles Full of Foreigners)

If you met a woman who previously dated an expat who she met in the same group or niche as you, then she is fishing foreign men. This isn’t coincidence, this is calculated probability – especially if you have them on your Facebook friend list.

If they are love bombing you one minute and radio silence the next – they are 4 times out of 5 with someone else. How often do you check your phone during the day? What time are YOU usually available?

Their family is off limits.

I have two different examples of this. One was my first boyfriend in Colombia – he manipulated me about not meeting his family or being around them too much once I did meet them. In that situation it was because he was so unreliable and such a user that his own family will rat him out.

In the other situation – it was a Venezuelan problem. Venezuelans are never single. They always have a partner even if they say they don’t. And they are probably the most convincing out of sheer necessity and instability – even if it isn’t even that much money or benefit to them in a monetary sense. If they are benefitting from you in any kind of monetary way – assume this is the case.

That cousin he lives with, and the aunt who has dementia, says off color things, and that nephew who stinks and never leaves his room – is a lie. She is his wife, the aunt is his mother-in-law and the youngling is probably his son or adopted child.

A Venezuelan keeps you conveniently away from their family because they all have husbands/wives but are willing to use the affection of others to help feed and support their at-home family budget.

This is also cultural. In Venezuela – even up until 2018, it is heavily frowned upon to be a single mother. Colombian values aren’t as strong in this aspect because men can easily get away with not paying child support. Venezuelan laws require both parents to be much more present for the mental health of the child – not just the financial side. It is a CULTURAL VALUE to stay loyal to your family.

Which is why if you are dating a Venezuelan and they don’t take you home to meet their ENTIRE family – they aren’t single. Even if you do meet their family here in Colombia – who are they sending money to every month? Is is really his mother? Good luck with that! They will treat you better. They are taller and more physically attractive to American or European women especially. But they are not single or divorced. And if they are – they are with or will get with a Venezuelan. This culture will date within their own culture when possible – and especially for serious relationships.

Don’t buy a car without checking out where it came from. Does the car lot have a good reputation? Is it hiding out in the ghetto? Maybe it’s actually a chop shop and you’re getting a nice car that will be taken back by the seller at some point without prior notice. You will decide to get up and drive to work only to find out that the car is gone. You just lost every penny you saved up to buy that car because you discovered that it had a fraudulent title and you were actually driving a stolen car.

Disclaimer: This is written by a jaded American expat who has survived and thrived for over a decade in Colombia in spite of her failed relationships. I will try to keep my own experiences from coloring my advice too much – BUT, this article is based off of the 5 Colombian Dating Red Flags talked about in online forums across the internet. I will use my experiences – but my research doesn’t come solely from my own experiences but instead of the experiences of others which YOU can also read more about in the comment section of my two most popular dating articles = Click Here if you are Man – and Click HERE if you are a Woman. Enjoy!

Conclusion

If this advice matches your previous experience, comment below and tell everyone about it. Disagree? Tell me why – build a case and if your logic makes sense I’ll update this article appropriately and give you credit where credit is due. This is part of being an Open Minded Traveler – it’s the way of the international man or woman. Tell me about your experience…

Let’s dive deep, uncover the obscure and help you learn the Colombian Dating Red Flags.

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